Oleg Gadetsky. Writer. Psychologist trainer. Conducts trainings in Russia, Europe, Asia and the USA.
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Simple truths in questions and answers. Part 3 (end)

Dear friends! At the end of the series of articles “Simple Truths in Questions and Answers,” we publish the answers of Oleg Georgievich Gadetsky to questions that concern participants in trainings and educational programs.
In this article you will learn:
♦ How to get rid of attachment to close people and is it worth it?
♦ Is it possible to influence a person who destroys others?
♦ How to light the fire of life in you when you do not want to live?
♦ can the Soul be tired and from what, etc.
 
Question 16. Elena: “I am 50 years old and I still feel the need for mother’s love. Since childhood, we had relationships that excluded tactile contacts. We never hugged or kissed each other. However, I can not call them conflicting or bad. We have always had and have something to talk about. Mom helps with domestic issues, but in relationships with each other I want to feel more warmth and harmony. ”
Elena, for one reason or another, you cannot force your mother to become another. She was raised in a family where there was a shortage of love, so she could not give it to you fully. You can change your own picture of the world. Look for your love for the mother, show concern for her, attention in specific actions. As time passes, you will notice how the relationship will change. They will become deeper and more harmonious.
Question 17. Irina: “When should I intervene in the situation of another person, if you see that his actions and actions destroy not only him, but also close people? It is clear that we can always pray for him, but how can we determine that it is time for action? ”
Irina, no one will answer this question for you. Imagine that you, as a parent, are standing and watching how a 3-year-old son has been tying shoe laces for 20 minutes. On what grounds do you understand that you need to intervene and help him? This question has no definite answer. It all depends on the condition of the child.
If you see that he becomes hysterical, then you need to calm down and help. If you feel that he persistently and calmly continues to engage them, then in this situation you need to stand still for a while for a while. Watch people, their condition, and listen to your heart and intuition.Life is given to man for happiness. Need to feel her. “Life to live is not a field to pass on,” Boris Pasternak correctly wrote in one of his poems.
There are no general answers. Always think about what your actions will bring to another person - benefit or harm. Ask yourself the question: “What do I need to do to solve this problem for the benefit of all?” You will have different answers in different situations and this is normal.
Question 18. Maria: "How to get rid of attachment to children, to her husband and be a full-fledged person?"
Imagine standing a tree and thinking: “How would I get rid of the attachment to the earth? I'm still stuck here in one place. I will tear out the root, transfer it to the shore of the warm sunny sea and I will feel good. ” What do you think will come of it? It is unlikely that the root of the tree will take root there. Trying to get rid of what has already been given will inevitably lead to failure.
You need to be in touch with reality, and not try to escape from it. Only in this situation can you become a full-fledged person and reach the goal. The longest journey begins from where you are now.The desire to get rid of attachment to children, to her husband, already says that you have it and it is based on unexplored lessons. Become aware of them, ask yourself: “What does this or that situation teach me?”. Listen to the answers and with time, you will gain strength, feel full and harmonious personality.
Question 19. Anna: “How to choose the right life partner? The man says he is ready to start a family. At the same time, I see that he lives with his parents, has big debts and nowhere to work. ”
Probably, he expects you to solve all the problems for him. Give back your debts, and will work instead. He does not hide anything from you and honestly speaks about it. You need to understand yourself, and are you ready for such a life?
Question 20. Catherine: “Hello! I lost the desire to live. I feel that nobody needs me and nobody understands me. How to light the fire of life? ”
Catherine, if you are looking for people who understand and appreciate you, you will be looking for them endlessly. First of all, learn to understand yourself, learn to appreciate and support other people. You need to deal with this.
Question 21. Elena: "Why does the soul hurt?"
The soul is by nature active.She gets tired and suffers from wrong desires and fuss. Learn to distinguish true desires from false illusions. In true desires, the soul never gets tired. Following them, it will begin to bloom more and more.
Question 22. Svetlana: "Where can I get system knowledge?"
Educational project"Science of Life"specially created to transfer system knowledge, skills and tools that help a person to find balance in all spheres of life and reveal the purpose. You can find out more about the conditions of admission on the website."Psychology of the third millennium"In chapter "Training". 
If you in life do what you have always done, you will always get the result you received in the past.
If there are a lot of difficulties and pains in your life, then this means that your beliefs and actions require rethinking.
Develop and gain knowledge. They give the ability to see, understand and make the right decisions.
The text of the article was prepared on the basis of Oleg Gadetsky's webinar "Simple truths in questions and answers."

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