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The pain of everyone is the most painful ...
Having determined the meaning of pain for yourself, change your attitude towards it.
I will write on this topic, maybe someone will suddenly become obvious that did not fall into his field of vision.
For each person, his pain is the most painful compared to the pain of others. Yes, if you compare it from the side, then the one who was beaten physically is more painful than the one who was hurt by the word. Especially if you compare the one who was beaten.
However, if you look without any comparisons and measurements of the “volumes” of pain, then it becomes quite obvious that her own pain, no matter how small it may seem to others, is always the most painful and large. And so it goes on until a person revels in this pain and self-pity, and at the same time this “rapture” invariably feels offense towards others, and even anger or envy, and sometimes all three feelings are in “one bottle” right away
But as soon as a painful person has an understanding,that, after all, it can also hurt the other, there is a desire to first hear the other, and then show sympathy for other people who also “hurt” with something. Then own pain ceases to be significant, despite its volume. Moreover, suddenly there is a feeling that you are the one who was able to show sympathy for others, and acquire not only the ability to stop in your experiences, but even the strength to help the other and yourself cope with any pain.
But for this it is important to want to show such sympathy. It does not have to be expressed in some hectic activity and yet it is better if it is expressed. Just the words "I understand and sympathize with you" or a kind look, or a friendly pat on the shoulder. With the expression of his sympathy for others, a person acquires the power to resist pain: not fighting her, but changing his attitude towards her, ceasing to be afraid of her and changing her attitude towards other people.
When you stop being afraid of pain, she no longer leads you, and you stop finding in her a source of self-pity. After all, pity and pity - strife. Blind self-pity, based on the fear of pain, leads to the fact that you only live through it.And pity as a basis of sympathy leads to the fact that a person becomes able to help, both himself and others. Do we want to live, not live?
Stop comparing, envy, be offended, “measure up” with the volumes and strength of the pain experienced. While you are doing this, you do not live your life, but the life of the pain that once arose and was tested by you, but now it is no longer there and that does not lead you to your own development, to understanding yourself or others, or to feeling the joy of life. Try to want a different life, without pain. You will see, you will succeed.