What are children afraid of?
Fear, according to doctors, is a natural reactionman, peculiar to both young children and adults. It is believed that fear - this is one of the components of the instinct of self-preservation, which warns a person of impending danger. Many of the fears that overcome children from three to seven years are natural and are an unconscious reflection of the instinct of self-preservation, but there are also so-called "inspired" fears.
What children are afraid of in three years
Since the age of three, many childrenbegin to be afraid of the dark. The kid refuses to sleep alone or asks parents to leave the light turned on, since sometimes nightmares creep up to the child in the middle of the night. Gradually, nightly fears can result in a fear of falling asleep alone.
The three-year age is the period when children beganfears. This is explained by the fact that the child accumulates more and more knowledge about the world around, thanks to increasing independence. The child begins to understand that the world can be unsafe and hostile: the dog can bite, the hot cup - burn, the cars on the roads are very dangerous, etc. Gradually the kid comes to the conclusion that in this world not everything can be predicted, there is a hidden danger, for example, in the darkness someone can hide. At this age, children are beginning to be interested not only in the way they were born, but also in where all living people go, what death is. From the evasive answers of his parents, he understands that it's terrible to die even for an adult. The vague answer of the parents that to die means "to fall asleep forever", gives rise to a new fear - fear of going to sleep, so many vagaries, tears and fears to fall asleep alone, are caused by the child's fear never to wake up again.
What to do if the child is afraid of the dark
It is one thing to know what a child is afraid of, the other is to be able to help him in the fight against this fear.
Try to understand why a child is afraiddarkness, perhaps there is a specific cause of fear. In this case, your task is to eradicate the cause (scary movies or computer games, the older brother (little sister) can scare the child, etc.).
Keep a trusting relationship with the child. If he tells you that he is afraid of something, take it with due seriousness, do not scold him or punish him. Show the child that you understand him, that you are near. The child should feel safe and understand that in case of something - he has someone to turn to.
Install a night light in the child's room, which will be easily accessible to him (ie he can turn it on himself). Explain to the child that he can control the situation himself.
With age-old fears it is not worth fighting, the most important thing is to support the child during this period, try to calm him and help avoid unpleasant and frightening situations.
If in this period, let it all go by itself, thenprimary fear can gain a foothold. A sense of insecurity, a lack of parental attention and understanding contribute to the development of fears that can gradually develop into mental disorders, and in the future will have to turn to specialists.
The cause of fears can bepsychological shock or trauma caused by the parents' fault due to incorrect approach to education, manifestation of cruelty towards the child, unreasonable prohibitions caused by excessive anxiety of parents, etc. Think about whether this is your case and work with it.
What children are afraid of in five to seven years
At the age of five, children begin, apart from darkness, to fear different fairy-tale characters, such as Koschey, Baba-Yaga, etc., whom they associate with real people.
Such fears are called "inspired", not infrequentlythe cause of them is carelessness in utterances. It seems to be a statement for educational purposes: "If you behave badly, the evil Yaga will steal you", can lead to unforeseen consequences, and the child will see an angry old woman in any rustle and shadow.
Gradually, to natural and "inspired" fears,received at an earlier age added fear of natural disasters and natural disasters (fires, floods, earthquakes, depth, etc.); fear of punishment for misconduct of varying severity; fear of animals, both wild and domestic; fear of losing parents; get sick; there are fears of loneliness, closed space; The fear of death is most acute.
Careful parents, trying to warn aboutpossible danger, in advance indicate a possible danger: "do not go into the water, do not swim to the depth - drown", "do not touch the dog - bite", "do not run - you will fall", etc. Such "pugalki", especially those that concern the dangers of the child not yet known, are fixed at a subconscious level. Perhaps the child has not experienced this yet, but he will perfectly feel the alarm and will understand everything literally and categorically (ie dogs always bite, you will surely fall if you run, etc.). As a result, a child grows up in the family, who shies away from everything that is unfamiliar and incomprehensible. "Exposed" fears grow as a snowball, and getting rid of them may require the work of a specialist.
The mistake is that the parents, in orderTo protect your child from possible troubles, they resort to the help of the most powerful weapon - fear. With it, it's much easier and quicker to tamper with a naughty baby. However, childhood fears in a more mature age can lead to serious problems.
What to do if the child is afraid of everything
First of all, the child initially did notshould be frightened. Of course, when intimidated, the child quickly abates, though for a little while. Therefore, to fix the effect and adjust the behavior, parents come up with a terrible story. The method is effective, but in the future the child will have to pay for the parents' unwillingness to look for the right approach to it.
In order for the child to grow calm, teach himbe careful, circumspect, attentive and judicious. Teach your child to trust you, tell everything that scares him and worries him. If the child is afraid of something, try to help him understand the causes of fear, and also provide support in overcoming fear. Pay attention to the following tips:
- for the sake of obedience one should never frighten a kidnobody and nothing: bandits, robbers, hooligans, representatives of "terrible" professions (for example, policemen or doctors), various dangers and incidents, illnesses;
- Do not shame the child that something scares him;
- Do not provoke the emergence of new fears: Do not leave the child alone in an unfamiliar environment or in a situation where something unexpected and frightening may appear. The kid shows curiosity to the unknown, only if there are adults familiar to him;
- Do not "close your eyes" to the problems that arise in the child, help him to understand them;
- Allow the child to run, walk, communicate with peers, make, draw, invite friends to visit;
- play with the whole family;
- Do not compare it with other children, let it be yourself.
Parents should help the child overcome fears in time, so that they do not cause future problems. To get rid of fears it is possible with the help of special exercises, which are conducted in a game form.